Something in the way she moves just shouldn't be allowed

I have finally answered that age-old question, "Is my life a romantic comedy?"
Well, yes. I am a commitment-phobic (god, least favorite phrase ever, so my apologies lovely readers) dude, and capital A Astronomy is my totally under-appreciated lady friend. You've seen The Last Kiss (wait, is that even the right title? and no, you haven't), so you know where this is going- with nothing either that wrong or that right, I am totally susceptible to the charms of that sultry sea turtle that I met while totally smashed at a friend's party. Inevitably, though, I realize my mistake and a chilly gloom settles around me while I pace the streets, forlorn, and listening to the Counting Crows all the damn time (wait, maybe I mean Cruel Intentions).
I'm sorry, baby. I'm on my way to the airport.